Watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Arcade) | 2017.10.13 on YouTube
Original broadcast: 10/13/2017
Games played: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Arcade)
In the earliest surviving episode of the series, Alex decides to mix things up by playing a video game for the first time on the show. To get things started he fires up the 1989 arcade beat-em-up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Alex begins the episode by returning for a second show of the night and acknowledging both his imaginary audience and the two real viewers who may still be watching. He explains that second episodes are often rough, so he has decided to play a video game instead of trying to fill the whole episode with talk. Since the show is on Twitch, he reasons that playing a game makes sense.
He loads the 1989 arcade game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles through MAME, jokingly calling it a magical time machine. After the ROM check and regional warning, he inserts many fake quarters, expecting to need them. He chooses Michelangelo and begins playing.
Early in the first level, Alex fights Foot Soldiers, stands in fire, beats up robot enemies, and heads toward rescuing April. He notes that the game may or may not be more interesting than reading scholarly documents on stream, but it at least gives viewers something to watch. When a gun wielding enemy appears, Alex jokes that the villain is wasting bullets because Michelangelo is effectively immortal thanks to all the credits.
After saving April, Alex reflects that playing games may be useful for the show because it fills dead air when he cannot think of anything to say, especially with a small audience. He briefly deals with a technical issue involving his mouth not working properly and asks his producer to adjust the audio. He also mentions that Mr. Boston’s magical elixir, apparently given to him by the producer, may be affecting his ability to speak clearly while playing.
As he continues through the game, Alex checks in with Seymour, discusses whether the show should alternate between talk show episodes and gaming episodes, and jokes about the mystery of his producer. He distinguishes the show from television, calling it a web show, though he notes people could technically watch Twitch on a TV.
During the Baxter Stockman section, Alex talks about his history with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He says he has read the first issue of the original comic and has experienced many different versions of the franchise, with special affection for the 1987 cartoon. He also mentions the Michael Bay movies and says they are what they are.
When Bebop and Rocksteady become relevant, Alex admits he always mixes up their names and tries to invent a mnemonic for remembering which one is the rhino. He comments on the absurdity of enemies shooting Michelangelo many times without killing him and jokes that arcade immortality in the 1980s was available to anyone with enough quarters.
The game moves to the secret factory, where Alex critiques Shredder’s strategy. He questions why Shredder builds so many disposable robots instead of one large robot or one powerful missile. He repeatedly points out that the villains’ technology is inefficient and that the pizza lying around could simply be poisoned if they really wanted to stop the turtles.
Alex continues making observations about arcade logic, including the lack of punishment for dying when enough credits are available, the impracticality of Foot Soldiers on skateboards, and Michelangelo’s ability to attack helicopters with nunchucks. He references AVGN and jokes with Seymour about joints and about his mother, who exists as a character but has not yet appeared on the show.
Later, Alex reaches Splinter and fights a flamethrower enemy whose distorted voice sounds to him like profanity against the Turtles. He becomes fixated on the enemy’s strange purple nipple, then later on similar enemies with differently colored nipples. After rescuing Splinter, Alex notes that only Michelangelo has done the work and wonders why Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael are absent. He creates a headcanon that the other turtles may be fighting unseen enemies offscreen.
Inside the Technodrome, Alex jokes about the hazards, imagining Shredder or Krang accidentally triggering their own traps at night. He continues questioning why the villains leave pizza around instead of using it against the turtles.
Krang appears, and Alex attempts a Krang voice, then immediately criticizes his own impression. He finds the fight somewhat anticlimactic, describing Krang as mostly kicking, firing lasers, and shooting his fists. After Krang, Alex faces multiple Shredders and questions whether Shredder has cloned himself.
During the final fight, chat apparently brings up RuneScape, and Alex says he has never played it. He talks about being a casual player, liking old games, owning a large collection of DOS games, and considering playing them on the show someday. He remains unsure whether gaming should become a regular part of the program.
Alex beats the game and reads the epilogue, which says the Foot have been defeated, the Mousers mangled, and the Technodrome totaled, while leaving Shredder and Krang’s fate uncertain. He comments on the ending’s mention of the turtles sleeping safely in their beds or shells, then discusses whether the turtles actually have beds or sleep in their shells.
On the high score screen, Alex enters “AL” as his initials and recognizes it as himself. He closes by thanking the viewers for hanging out, saying they had a good time, and announcing that he may do more shows during the week but will definitely return Fridays at 9:00. He ends with the show’s usual closing rhythm, including “don’t forget,” consistent with the series’ established ending tradition.
Facts We Learned About Alex in This Episode
- Alex sometimes does more than one episode in a night.
This was his second episode of the night, and he admits those are “usually pretty bad.” - Alex worries about dead air.
He is aware that talking with no structure can go badly, especially when there are few viewers, so gameplay gives him something active to respond to. - Alex is unsure whether gaming should be a regular part of the show.
He likes that playing games makes the show easier to carry, but he worries it might feel like “cheating” because it takes less effort than a talk show. - Alex wants the show to feel effortful.
He does not want to coast. Even when he is being silly, he cares that the show feels like it has value. - Alex plays old arcade games through MAME.
He refers to it as a magical time machine while loading the 1989 arcade version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. - Alex chooses Michelangelo when playing Ninja Turtles.
In this episode, he plays through the game entirely as Michelangelo. - Alex likes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
He says he loves Ninja Turtles and has experienced different versions of the franchise. - Alex has a special affection for the 1987 cartoon version of Ninja Turtles.
He specifically says that version has a special place in his heart. - Alex has read the first issue of the original Ninja Turtles comic.
He describes finding and reading a neighbor’s copy “some time ago.” - Alex has seen the newer Michael Bay Ninja Turtles movies.
His verdict is mild: “They are what they are.” - Alex gets Bebop and Rocksteady mixed up.
He knows he should remember which one is which, but he admits he often confuses their names. - Alex tries to invent memory tricks on the fly.
He attempts to create a mnemonic for remembering whether Rocksteady is the rhino. - Alex enjoys picking apart video game logic.
He questions guns that cannot kill turtles, disposable robots, unpoisoned pizza, villain budgets, arcade immortality, and Technodrome safety hazards. - Alex is amused by bad villain planning.
He repeatedly argues that Shredder could win more efficiently if he built one giant robot, made better missiles, or poisoned the pizza. - Alex understands arcade games as quarter machines.
He knows that the real strategy is often not skill, but having enough quarters to keep continuing. - Alex jokes that fake quarters make him immortal.
He treats arcade continues as a form of paid resurrection. - Alex is not pretending to be great at beat ’em ups.
He openly says he is not especially good at games like this and is relying on a pile of fake quarters. - Alex considers himself a casual gamer.
When RuneScape comes up, he says he has never played it and calls himself “pretty what the kids call casual.” - Alex mostly likes old games.
He says he enjoys old games like Ninja Turtles, though there are many old PC games he still has not played. - Alex has a large collection of DOS games.
He has considered playing through DOS games on the show. - Alex may someday play Worms on the show.
He mentions it as a possible future game. - Alex knows AVGN and likes that kind of commentary.
He references AVGN while reacting to the game’s absurdity. - Alex’s mother exists in the show’s world but has not yet been introduced.
He says his mother is a character who exists and may appear someday. - Alex presents himself as a perfect little angel to his mother.
Whether or not that is accurate is part of the joke. - Alex thinks the show needs more characters.
While talking about his mother, he reflects that the show could use more characters. - Alex treats Seymour as part of the room while he plays.
He checks whether Seymour is having a good time and jokes with him during gameplay. - Alex says Seymour is not the producer.
He clarifies that Seymour produces “things,” but not internet TV shows. - Alex’s producer is intentionally mysterious.
Alex says that although he himself is a mystery, the producer is also a mystery, and maybe not even human. - Alex uses they/them language for the producer in this episode.
He jokes that he is “playing the pronoun game.” - Alex distinguishes the show from television.
He corrects himself after calling it a TV show and says it is a web show. - Alex does not think the show has the professional capabilities to be an actual TV show.
He says this plainly, though the statement fits the self-deprecating tone of the episode. - Alex is sensitive to compliments from viewers.
When someone says the show is high quality, he says the compliment means a lot. - Alex is aware of his own speech difficulties during the episode.
He says Mr. Boston’s magical elixir may have affected his ability to talk clearly. - Alex can get fixated on strange details.
He becomes very focused on the flamethrower enemy’s purple nipple, the distorted voice samples, and Krang’s odd design details. - Alex hears one enemy voice as “Fuck the Turtles.”
He returns to this several times because the voice sample sounds unmistakably wrong to him. - Alex creates headcanon while playing.
When the other turtles are absent, he decides they must be fighting unseen enemies offscreen. - Alex notices when the game’s story does not acknowledge his specific playthrough.
He objects that Splinter does not credit Michelangelo alone for doing all the work. - Alex beat Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade during the episode.
He reaches the end, defeats the final boss sequence, reads the epilogue, and enters “AL” on the high score screen. - Alex identifies with the initials “AL.”
When he enters them, he says, “That’s me. It’s me.” - Alex plans or expects Friday shows at 9:00.
At the end, he says he may do shows during the week, but he will definitely be there Fridays at 9:00. - Alex ends with the show’s familiar signoff.
He closes by thanking the viewers and telling them, “don’t forget.”